Rearing Children in Love and Righteousness

Rearing Children in Love and Righteousness

Length: 2555 words (7.3 double-spaced pages)

Rating: Excellent

Open Document

Essay Preview

More ↓
Rearing Children in Love and Righteousness


“Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, . . .[and] to teach them to love and serve one another” (The Family: A Proclamation to the World, ¶ 6). This statement by The Proclamation proclaimed to the world of the responsibility parent have for their children – to teach them right from wrong. In today’s world less and less parents are the principal caregiver and teacher in a child’s life. The Proclamation firmly places this responsibility squarely on the heads of the parents. Yet even with this knowledge, the application of how to “rear their children in love and righteousness” could be debated. Many parents (even amongst members) have differing opinions on how children should be disciplined and taught. Is spanking considered abuse? Or is it excusable under certain circumstances? Should time out, or bribery be used to coerce kids to obey, or is it a combination of both? Many people have questioned what types of punishments are “righteous” and which ones are not. Here I want to discuss these things and find out what is the most popular belief among college students. Then we can go to our text, “Strengthening Our Families: An In-Depth Look at the Proclamation on the Family”, and discover what General Authorities and scholars in the field of Sociology and Child Development teach. In this way we can talk to others and inform them on, and maybe call them to reflection about their opinion and on the teachings of the leaders of the church.

When I was growing up, my parents believed in punishing a child who had severely disobeyed with spanking. Learning quickly at a young age that I did not like this, I was only spanked two or three times after which I built up the determination never to do anything deserving of spanking again. It scared me half to death and I despised it as a child. I have seen my older sisters, as they are currently raising their children, use spanking as a mode of punishment – sometimes it works, other times it seem to have little affect. I decided to ask my roommates and friends how their parents had disciplined them and what they thought they would do with their future children.

How to Cite this Page

MLA Citation:
"Rearing Children in Love and Righteousness." 123HelpMe.com. 23 Jan 2019
    <http://jwdfitness.co.uk/view.asp?id=24492>.

Need Writing Help?

Get feedback on grammar, clarity, concision and logic instantly.

Check your paper »

Essay on The Path Of Righteousness Before The Sun

- ... This gospel story tells his goodness and mercies for the human society to follow the right path in life and avoid the bump in the roads that lay ahead in everyone’s life. Part Five Praying in real life The prays offer in real life should address the concern of his will and kingdom for another human being in the world while giving him all the credit and honor to the true almighty god in the allowing you to be use this way in the process. The prayer that you are requesting from him must be sincere and from the heart without any alternative motive or selfish gain in the deep thoughts of the prayer....   [tags: Religion, Spirituality, Prayer, God]

Research Papers
1036 words (3 pages)

Essay on Gay Child Rearing

- The sexuality and development of children with gay parents must be most affected by the rearing of the gay parents. Does having gay parents affect a child’s mental health and growth. Can education and socialization be decreased with the presence of gay parents. How could it be possible that children are not affected by having two parents of the same sex. Doesn’t this cause some gender confusion for the child. How can a child develop properly without the experience of both a male and female role model....   [tags: Parenting Raising Children]

Research Papers
1653 words (4.7 pages)

Child Rearing Is The Way Essay

- Child rearing is the way in which children are raised in a society. No matter their culture, parents play a significant role in helping their child become a respectable and contributing member of society. Parents accomplish this by nurturing their child, building problem solving skills, and modeling culturally acceptable ways of living. All cultures vary on what cultural style the correct way to raise a child, but all share similar ground ideals. These ideals include the importance of education and teaching honesty, responsibility, and communication.The major factor of child rearing is parenting....   [tags: Parenting, Parenting styles, Childhood]

Research Papers
1204 words (3.4 pages)

Essay on Parenting Styles and Child Rearing

- Parenting style is very important in child rearing and can have consequences in the way that a child develops and can have long term effects on children and their personality later in life. Diana Baumrind developed her ideas of parenting styles and their effects by studying 100 preschool children and their parents. Although most of the subjects of her study were Californian middle class European Americans, thus not offering much diversity in her study, the results were very persuasive and interesting....   [tags: Diana Baumringd, child development]

Research Papers
888 words (2.5 pages)

Rearing in Sociopathic Tendencies Essay

- During the latter part of the 1900’s, several infamous sociopaths appeared in the news; one amongst them was Ted Bundy. Bundy was feared for his violent crimes towards women: he would rape them, horrifically murder them and then rape for weeks after they died. Upon Bundy’s execution, psychology experts began studying his behaviors and the causes of his sociopathic tendencies. Soon, experts noticed several parallels between Bundy, other sociopaths, and the families they grew up in. Beginning in the 1700’s, many philosophers had already started studying human behaviors....   [tags: Psychology ]

Research Papers
989 words (2.8 pages)

Essay on Various Child-rearing Practices and their Impact Upon Children

- Various Child-rearing Practices and their Impact Upon Children The relationship between a child and his parents is of most importance when the child is at the age when his mind is beginning to develop. The type of relationship can determine the child’s character for years to come. While children interacting with parents differently might not convey the idea that it will affect their personalities when they grow up, however, from personal experience, I found that this is very much true. Child rearing is one of the important responsibilities of parents; while discussing each role of parents in contributing to the child’s personality, I plan to discuss the effect of different methods on the pe...   [tags: Parenting Teaching Essays]

Research Papers
1703 words (4.9 pages)

Child Rearing Practices Essay

- ... Parents also have to provide guidance for their children. This is so children have a basis for their interactions with others and how to regulate themselves. Spirituality is another part of child rearing. Whatever beliefs the parents have, they should practice their beliefs consistently for their children to learn and answer to the best of their abilities any questions asked. Education is another aspect of child rearing. Education has more importance than just academic learning; it also teaches interaction with others and with authority figures....   [tags: parenting, families]

Research Papers
865 words (2.5 pages)

Children's Rights Essay

- At the onset, early in the seventeenth century, children suffered corporal punishment at the hands of their parents and educational institutions and, moreover, under the governing rules of religious institutions, children were abandoned, sexually abused and sometimes killed. Hugh Cunningham, a Professor of Social History, in his book entitled Children and Childhood: In Western SocietySince 1500 analyzes the historical context of family and child rearing and highlights influences that have helped shaped the rights of children....   [tags: Social Issues, Child Rearing]

Research Papers
1681 words (4.8 pages)

Essay about Child Rearing Controversy

- There are numerous philosophies on how to raise children. Several parents adopt the concepts their own parents used, others seek advice from friends and there are those that read books about parenting. Parents come in various and diverse forms, each approaching parenting in ways as distinct as their personalities. Philosophies on child rearing can be grouped into two styles; authoritarian, authoritative parenting. These two styles are similar sounding, but have nuanced differences. Authoritarian parents hold their children to an exceedingly high level of status and success....   [tags: Authoritarian, Authoritative]

Research Papers
959 words (2.7 pages)

An Analysis Of Parents and Children, Of Marriage and Single Life, and Of Love

- An Analysis of Bacon's Essays - Of Parents and Children, Of Marriage and Single Life, and Of Love Our modern world was the endeavored dream of the medieval genius Sir Francis Bacon.  In attempt to reach his desired vision, Bacon displayed his convictions in the literary works, The Essays, which are intended to help young people get ahead in life.  Three of these essays: Of Parents and Children, Of Marriage and Single Life, and Of Love, are essays that unfurl common literary characteristics.  In these essays Bacon utilizes logical thought, elegance of phrasing, and precepts....   [tags: Of Parents and Children Essays]

Free Essays
430 words (1.2 pages)

Related Searches

Differing opinions existed among them, more than expected. Common belief follows the research, which shows that in many causes, children tend to grow up and raise their children in the same way their parents raised them. I discovered amongst my roommates that this was not always the case. Though all three of them had been spanked, only one stated that they would want to implement spanking in their future parenting.

While talking to D, (one of my current roommates), she attested to not only being spanked but also sent to her room for punishment. Being sent to her room, she felt, was a good solution, however spanking was not something she wanted to implement in her home. Stating examples, D explained how she felt she would probably use the isolation of the children to their room as a common form of punishment. Using time-out was also mentioned as a form of chastisement she would use on her kids. While we were enjoying discussion and the exchange of ideas, I took the opportunity to share with her some quotes from our textbook. Under the title heading “The Value of Prevention” in chapter eight, we learn to start thinking of ways to prevent bad behavior rather than think of good punishments. “It seems that the Lord favors teaching over punishment”(Dollahite, 129). With this she readily agreed but had never thought of it from that angle. So many people thank about ways they will punish their kids, (either like or different from their parents) and often don’t take time to think of ways to prevent punishment instead of look for it. We discussed further her idea about sending children to their room and I warned her against the over use of that as it can be seen as “love withdrawal” (Dollahite, 126) and if done in anger it could end up being “delivered with a coldness that confirms the child’s sense of isolation and desperation”(Dollahite, 129). Each of these bring horrible consequences in the parent-child relationship – affirming to the child that they are unloved and unwanted, and sometimes unaware of what they did wrong. Making sure the child has been kindly spoken to about the reason behind the punishment before the punishment is given is an important issue. We also read under the heading of “Love Withdrawal” and found that it is important to be careful with time-out, for it can be seen by the child if the “parent wants nothing to do with the child” (Dollahite, 126). Nevertheless time-out can be a beneficial thing if it is used as a “cooling off” period of both the parent and the child. Cambria earnestly agreed with these principles and was grateful to receive insight from LDS leaders in this field.

Another intriguing conversation occurred with another roommate B – an-------------- major who loves children and discussing anything about them. Interestingly enough, she was the one roommate who agreed with spanking. She had been spanked, (though she could only recall a few actual events of it), and thought that it was a good way to keep kids obedient. Excessive spanking, B stated, was not right, but a swat for a direct disobedience was probably good for the kids to teach them to mind their parents. Defending one of the main points in the chapter, (ch. 8), I spoke to her of never punishing in anger. Too many times parents punish in anger, which can lead to overly harsh penalty then the act required. Once again I opened my textbook to share some insight. Teaching about the spirit of parenting, the text states that, “the irony of using harshness to compel good behavior is evident (Dollahite, 127). We invite Satan into our homes when we use anger and we harm our relationships with our children. Another result of spanking we came up we talked about was a child’s fear of the parents. If a parent hurts a child physically, it will create an emotional distance, and they are going to be less inclined to confide in them later in life. I told her a story of my friend whose parents began disciplining their young ones with spanking and then quickly changed their mind. The mother was watching her daughter and some neighborhood children when, to her surprise, she witnessed her daughter hitting another little girl. She quickly grabbed the young girl, took her to her room, and began spanking her saying, “We don not hit people!” Immediately the young mother stopped in her tracts, and realized what she was doing. From that moment on she never resulted to spanking.

Turning to another source, I looked to find some possible alternatives and ways of lessening or getting rid of physical punishment. Randall Day, a researcher and teacher in the field of MFHD, wrote a book on the research done by him as he has observed families, called Introduction to Family Processes. In it he discusses the atmosphere in the home and teaches a principle known as the “benign assumption.” What the basis of this principle suggests is that families with a benign, or compassionate and caring tone develop a much more strong and loving family than those with a “malignant attitude” (Day, 157). Day gives an example of families that assume that every problem caused, even if by accident, is because the child is trying to cause trouble for the parents. The parents with this attitude will be caught saying, “Look at what you did, you are always trying to make trouble, aren’t you!?”. This tells the child that he is a bad person and is only a difficulty in the parent’s life. This can result in depression and anger in the child, (especially when the action was accidental), and can be called emotional abuse. Each incident like this will further distance the child from the parent, and leave the parent wondering why the child never talks to them or desires to be close to the family. Even small things can cause us unknowingly to have a “malignant attitude”, without us even realizing it. On the flip side, a family with a “benign assumption”, will not immediately assume that with each incident that the child meant to do it on purpose. They express their feelings to the child in sadness that the problem happened and offer assistance to fix it while listening to the child explain how he feels. It is through implementing the “benign assumption” every day in our families that we will “combat the potential effects of negativity and chronic anxiety in families” (Day, 157).

While still talking with Alicia I explained that in my family growing up, the “benign assumption” was not always used. Many times when I would spill milk or accidentally break something in the kitchen my dad would immediately exclaim, “Sheryl! What did you do that for!? Weren’t you watching what you were doing?” This would make me feel horrible – like he thought it was done on purpose and he didn’t much care to listen to my side of the story. Sometimes even after trying to explain and saying I was sorry, I would get a response like, “well sorry isn’t going to change what happened now is it?” Though this was a rare occurrence, and usually only happened when my dad really had a stressful day or was too busy to help fix the mess, it still had a profound affect on me. It is so important that we watch our words with our children and make sure we treat them as we would want to be treated.

My last roommate, Julie, also enjoyed discussing this topic with me. But with her our discussion went a little different direction. She also was spanked when she was a child but decided that she didn’t think she would use this as a form of chastisement on her children. I began asking how she thought the parenting ideals changed from our parents’ generation to ours. As we conversed, we discovered that quite a few people confessed to have been spanked as a child, but thought they wouldn’t apply it in their future family. Why is this? It seems that all of our parents used coercion in some form or another. We couldn’t think of a single friend that we knew who said they had never been grounded. We sat down and read out of the textbook some of the effects of coercion on children. Coercion sometime resulted in children who “lack social ability, are withdrawn, lack spontaneity, are more aggressive, and have an underdeveloped conscience”(Dollahite, 125). It also shocked us that it “violates the principle of agency” and how it can be seen as incorrect use of the priesthood. Yet it is so easy to fall into without even realizing it. We discussed how many people we know use types of coercion commonly and consider it righteousness. I watch my sister send her children to their room as punishment over and over again, and I also see my nephew, of age 7, with the most violent temper I have ever seen in a little kid. Never before had I made this connection until after I had read this chapter from Strengthening our Families.

So, back to the question, why has the thought of parenting changed in our generation, or has it? It seems amongst young adults at BYU, many have turned away from their parent’s way of rebuking children (at least in word – time will tell what really comes out in their parenting), and decided to move away from spanking and more towards time-outs and talking to their children. We concluded that, for one, this might be isolated to BYU simply due to the fact of many child development and family focused classes. Also, much research as been done, just within the last few years, to advance our knowledge of the family and what, in theory, seems to be the best for families. Though these researches we have learned about coercion, love withdrawal, and induction. Just by simply giving youth this knowledge background before they begin their family will greatly enhance the possibility that they will use other forms of punishment besides coercion, moving closer to induction and spirit-guided parenting everyday.

I love the scripture in the Doctrine and Covenants section 121 verses 43-44, which is mentioned in the textbook as speaking almost directly to parenting. Reprove, I found, means to correct or make right and true, betimes seems to mean “when necessary” and sharpness means “quickly” not harshly. Many people take the word sharply to mean strictly or cruelly – and that is simply not the case. We are to do everything in our power to show love as we correct our children, and do so with gentleness. Many people stop there in reading this scripture and kind of skip the rest. But the most important part is the next line, which tells us when to do this things, saying only “when moved upon by the Holy Ghost.” This can be so hard for some people. In the heat of anger or rage they bellow criticisms at the child, only reducing their self-esteem, and probably doing little good to really correct the action. More parents, in and out of the church, need to be taught the principle of only punishing when moved upon by the Holy Ghost, and doing so with meekness and kindness, with the child’s growth in mind.

Before I began taking this class I thought spanking could be fairly good tool, every once in awhile, to teach the child a lesson. But after reading this text, and the evidence from research in other texts, I have now changed my opinion. I desire my children to see me as someone they can trust, look up to, and talk to when life gets ruff. Punishing with coercive actions like spanking, only makes the child fear you, and emotionally distance himself from you, making it hard to have a family based on understanding and love. Though most church members have read the Proclamation, too few really know all the in-depth principles taught in this book that are backed by scriptures and general authorities. Every class period we have had, has left me thinking of how I can prepare better to create my family, and has dug deep into the desire of my heart and sculpted them to become a little more Christ-like. I have seen these principle of parenting work for both good and evil within a family, namely my own, and testify that they truly come as a counsel form the Lord on how to treat his little ones. As I work on bringing myself, my family, and potentially my future family closer to Christ, I know that it is by following these principles outlined in The Family: A Proclamation to the World, that will give me the most fulfillment and joy in my life and the life to come.


Bibliography

Day, Randall, Introduction to Family Processes, Ogden Ut: 2000.

Dollahite, David C., Strengthening Our Families: An In-Depth Look at the Proclamation on the Family, Bookcraft: Salt Lake City, 2000.
Return to 123HelpMe.com
December 27, 2018 | Wonder Woman A Fetish Parody XXX DVDRip x264 UPPERCUT rarbg | Ch.212 : Found